The Power of Play: Critical for Kids (and Adults!)

Dear Friends,

We are only just beginning to realize that human connection needs to be a priority in our daily lives. Our next step, right alongside that, is to understand play as a priority, not just as an opportunity for connection, but as critical to the well-being of children, teens, and adults. 

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, free play, especially in the neighborhood, was just something that happened organically. The social and interpersonal skills we learned, the roles and adventures we found, the fear we faced and overcame, and the joy we experienced through playing with neighbors and friends were all expected, unquestioned, and frankly taken for granted. Our current pace of life, fear-based culture, and the achievement-focused environment that has resulted in an over-scheduled and checklist-driven childhood have left us with no time for free play. We have to be very intentional about play and make it a priority. 

This is exactly why today marks two years since the United Nations General Assembly’s first official International Day of Play on June 11, 2024. Happy International Day of Play! This call to awareness for action has come about because it’s become crucial for our future. Play teaches us how to be human and offers joy. Our kids are not okay, and free play is a key missing piece. All month, UNICEF is offering news and opportunities for parents, educators, and policymakers to help fulfill and protect a child’s right to play.

I owe my knowledge of the critical importance of play to Peter Gray, an evolutionary psychologist and research professor at Boston College. I heard him speak in a neighboring town in 2016 on the developmental and mental importance of self-directed, unstructured play. The graphic that showed the downward line of free play crisscrossing with the upward line of the rise of anxiety, depression, and suicidality of kids said it all.

I learned that all play is not created equal. Kids may play on a sports team, but it is coach/adult-led with orders and rules. Free play is child-directed, giving them agency and an inner locus of control. Kids are choosing their activities, setting up the rules, negotiating, solving conflict, and with mixed-aged play, mentoring younger kids or being mentored by older kids.

Restricting play by prioritizing (even with our very best intentions) academics, tasks, or adult-led sports activities negatively impacts children and teens. Just like we put our activities on the calendar, we can carve out time for free play.

Adults! It’s super important to note that play is not just for kids or just for adults when they play with kids! Most of us adults are desperate for play in our lives. We plow through our to-do lists, pick up, drop off, do what needs to be done, and have our own play in the back of our minds as an optional, wouldn’t it be nice, but not a realistic idea. We need to show our children that our joyful, playful lives don’t end when we have kids. We have to be role models by playing and even trying new ways to play. 

Many of my 50-something friends have started line or swing dancing, learned to play tennis and padel, or joined a mahjong group. These activities are so good for us – finding joy, building our social lives, strengthening our bodies, and protecting our brains from dementia. What is it that you’ve wanted to do but haven’t felt like your life could fit in?

Play is one of the two main reasons I started the block party movement (the other being face-to-face connection). Neighborhood play for kids becomes a real possibility when you know your neighbors. And the block party itself is full of old-fashioned play with chalk, jump ropes, bean bag toss, hula hoops, etc and my personal favorite: the egg toss. The resulting joy and laughter from kids, parents, and grandparents is a treasure for all.

How are you going to play today?

PS: Reminder! You can join one of my free June Zoom Office Hours either today, 12:00–12:30 pm ET or Tuesday, June 30th from 3:00–3:30 pm ET.

The Zoom Meeting ID: 820 0975 1912 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82009751912

While you can sign up at blockpartyusa.org/office-hours for reminders, you can just show up, too!